It has been a rather amusing past few days in respect of my stories. My sons have had their friends around yesterday and today which means I can pollute even more imaginations with my creations and madness.
At the end of the day yesterday I gave a copy of Origins Of The Magdon: Vercovicium (Book 1) to the oldest one (10 years old) and thought nothing of it.
Well, when they arrived this morning I was bombarded with questions about the book and he had only read to Page 11!
We decided to take a walk in the local countryside and needless to say he was glued to my side asking me every question he could possibly think of. It was, in itself, thoroughly enjoyable coming up with answers and telling the story of The Magdon from a different point of view as the descendant of Archy.
As the morning rolled on in the middle of an expanded explanation about the Nivags and how they protect The Magdon he proudly declared “You know what, I believe it’s all real now!”
What better encouragement is there than my target audience properly engaging with the story.
I suppose it helps that I could talk the hind legs off a donkey when it comes to off-the-cuff ad-libbing the finer details of the story but for me it is moments like this that really tell me that I have created something for the Mid-Grade audience which not only seems to connect with them but has also spurred on the adults who have read it to want more from the mythology.
Could it be that I am simply not giving the books enough service and my own inexperience, and a mistrust of all those “highly promising” PR companies and online ad campaigns is thwarting my own progress?
Am I being too picky actually wanting people who have a care for my “product” to get involved? If I could get the right people I would want a parent or someone who connects with the story to help me take it forward. I don’t want to just be another project on a massive list. This whole adventure of Magdons and Monsters has been a personal one and I want to use that motivation, personal investment and growth, to make a success of it.
It is difficult though, because when you look at it…..WHO AM I?
From the inside out I am the grand story master, the creator of adventure, the spinner of lies and intrigue, the all knowing Oracle but from the outside in I am some untrained hack bleating on about a project that makes no sense to even pay attention to.
It’s a frustrating world and awful position to be in.
Am I wrong to believe in the potential when so many Agents turn me down? Am I simply deluded as to the quality and connectivity of my story or am I just the undiscovered talent I hope I am?
If you hadn’t guessed it’s probably a self-doubt day Days like this when I sit back and consider what I create and ask myself…….”Should I be here? Do I belong here? Do I deserve to be here?”
Who knows! I suppose when it boils down to it I can be the only one to sell myself and my adventure. I don’t have (friends) people to fight for me, to sing from the rooftops and say LOOK AT THIS BOOK so any progress has to be made from, for the time being, me alone. Sadly I don’t have the funds to throw money at the big firms and say “make it work” and in lieu of that, I either need to put up or shut up.
But all that aside I had an audience today. A new mind to pollute with my imaginings and stories and that will be encouragement enough that I am not as bad as I fear I am.
Only the future will see!