The one thing I love about writing is escaping. Escaping everything that seems to hammer at me and be seen as the frustrations or difficulties of “normal” life. The only problem is you can get so absorbed in it that not only does your story seem real (hell I’ve been living as a whole different guy while I’ve been writing – does that mean I’ve been cheating seeing as I have two children with another woman and live in an alternative life!!!???!!!) – rest assured that was a sarcastic perspective in case anyone actually thinks I am being serious….happily married, well as happy as married can be ha ha ha.
I have become acutely aware of just how absorbed I have become in writing INTO THE DARK and can totally sympathise with my wife’s preference I don’t take on a new project aside from the short Christmas COPs (Care Of Police Survivors) charity story I am trying to pull together (being 5,000ish words though the story is pretty much sorted in my head so transcribing to page should be pretty simple and I will advertise/push better this year hopefully writing it before September so I can beg my skilled artist to do some more of his fantastic illustrations.
Aside from that though I am banished to only edit INTO THE DARK and not start the mish-mash of ideas that are properly swimming around my head at the moment. I’m sure people I am paired with at work think I am totally insane the way my ideas go off at a tangent. This morning at 2am having been rather busy through the night my partner for the night asked me how the writing is going……I;m sure my answer sent her to sleep as I went wildly wandering into the vast plains of my imagination.
I do love my imagination though. As I have said before I am massively visual when it comes to writing. Having always been a fan of films growing up I like to play my story in my head, hence the desire to reach out (rather unsuccessfully I might add) to Ewan McGregor as my “Mind Movie” had him as Gabe for INTO THE DARK. Sometimes I wish I had studied something other than Psychology at University and instead done film and be able to make what’s in this addled brain appear for others to enjoy.
Sometimes I think how interesting it would be to be able to play my raw imagination onto a projector for people to see. Although I expect I would soon find myself confined to a room locked from the outside being watched by a white-coated doctor!
I suppose that is why I like writing. Growing up I always meditated and tried to create this relaxing place to retreat to, I did the same when I found myself becoming overwhelmed a few years ago with the expert guidance of a friend. Now I think it’s become my blank canvas where I can just literally detach myself from the norm and wander through the open world of my imagination.
If I were to describe how my Mind it would be a vast open landscape. I know some people have a mind palace (forgive the riffing of Hannibal there) which signifies a building with rooms but I prefer the open. I pretty much always start either in a field of golden wheat or else on a bluff overlooking the rolling countryside. From there I can invite anything in and play out whatever my head needs to explore in order to fix the stories in place.
I know that sounds rather random and probably self-proclaiming but it is far from it. If someone asked me advice how to write I would just say “do what feels right”. That’s all I do. I like to think it creates some fairly decent stories along the way but in no way do I flatter myself and claim to know what I am doing. I’m just someone playing at trying to get it right – but isn’t that half the battle….looking like you know what you’re doing even when you don’t!?!
But back to the start of the post! I know I split myself between work, home, gym, family, alone time, writing, revising, stressing about one or more of the aforementioned things…and for the most part I think I almost manage it but perhaps not equally proportioned. I suppose all I ever try to do with it all is my best, sometimes that won;t be good enough for one or more of the aspects but I do my best without compromising or giving up on any single aspect.
Anyway I will shut up for fear of turning you all off my stories as they continue to come out for your…….enjoyment(?)
As ever, thanks for taking the time to read it and if you got this far to the end you’ve really done well and I thank you for your perseverance.
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